So after my post last night, I woke up feeling refreshed. It’s been a while since that happen. I guess getting my thoughts out really does help.
So this morning, I woke up at the bring and early time of 7am. Only this morning my boyfriend was there. Usually he stays up and plays video games with his friends all night, or falls asleep watching Netflix on the couch. That’s a rough topic if you couldn’t tell… But I remember him getting in to bed with me! He let me snuggle and love him. When that happens it feels like most of my worries are gone. Goodness it felt nice. Although I had some conflict in my head last night before bed… Should I tell him I started blogging? Or do I just let him find the app on my iPad? Decisions I didn’t think about when I made this account.
God, am I really stressed about something so small? Anxiety at its best I guess…
So my morning went well as I mentioned. I woke up on time, got in the shower, found my scrubs for class, got gas, and drove the 45 minutes it takes to get to class. (I’m going to be a medical assistant in a little over a year) Although, I did find my thoughts wondering to a dark place. I can’t seem to figure out why. My car has this issue, I’m not sure what it is, but it doesn’t like to go straight. You have to concentrate very hard or you’ll be in the surrounding lanes. This morning I caught myself thinking about what would happen if the car merged and I got into a car accident? Who would care, who would cry, who would come visit in the hospital, better yet who would come to my funeral?
Why do I think about that so often? I just want to be normal and not have to think about that. Do normal people think about things like that? Or is it just me? I guess I really could be crazy. Do people in the medical field have to have a background check to see if they’re unstable/have mental problems? God, I hope not. My whole life plan would be so thrown off. Who knows what I would do.
I’m in the middle of class blogging… I shouldn’t be doing this. But on the plus side I’m going to donate some of my blood today. So maybe that will make me feel like I did something great this week.
Well happy Monday! I’ll check back in later.
From their experience came pain, and from their pain came purpose, and from their purpose came beauty. (J. Arhangel)