I’m always late 

So here it is, Wednesday. Where did the time go? 

Well I’ll tell you about my week thus far. Monday I gave blood as I mentioned in my last post. That went well. I didn’t almost pass out like I did last time. But I had to sit there for a while just so I could let my body readjust to the pint of blood missing. After that I went home, did some homework, and hung out with my roommates until my boyfriend and I decided to go get chipotle and some beers. Yes, I drank the same day I gave blood…. And I drank on an empty tummy. Needless to say I was trashed after my first beer… I don’t recommend that for anyone. We got chipotle after we went to get a few beers and then came home. We watched a little bit of tv and then went and got the HUGE tv we bought from my sister. It didn’t fit very well in my car… So that was interesting. 

Tuesday, I went to class late. I decided I was going to sleep in. I’ll explain why after I give you a run down of my week so far. I presented my project and then did some in class work, and gave a review for my teacher. Thank goodness no one knows what my answers were. She’s not a good teacher. She tells about how she failed this class in high college. After class I obviously came home, watched some tv, and then went to work. After work, I came home, hung out with my boyfriend, and then we went to bed. 

Today, we work up at about ten. I cleaned and did some laundry and then sat down with my boyfriend to watch a movie. When the movie was over he had to go to work, so I took him and sat there. While I was sitting there I watched my ‘chick shows’ on Netflix. He calls them chick shows because he doesn’t like them. Now we are at home just hanging out. He’s playing his video games while I’m blogging/making dinner. 

Well now about my thoughts and emotions. They have been all over the place. I’ve been happy and I’ve been sad. It’s like my emotions can’t figure out what they want. Monday, while giving blood, I could only think about what if I needed my blood back because something terrible happened to me and I was losing so much blood? What if I started squirting blood everywhere and died? I wonder if I’ll ever have a day that I don’t think about my own death. Also, a lot of things that my boyfriend says has been making me angry. Usually they don’t. I know he’s just joking, but I still get extremely butt hurt. I can’t figure out why. Last night while I was laying next to him I couldn’t help but think about how much better his life would be if I weren’t around anymore. He wouldn’t have to deal with so much crazy going on. He’s probably the only person who really sees what it’s like for me. I could cry about anything. I could get so angry because someone’s head lights are so bring. Hell, I could just punch someone for not wearing the right clothes. I can’t figure out why… I just want to take a vacation from my brain… That doesn’t seem like to much to ask for. Right? 

Well I hope everyone else is having a better time than I have been this week. 

Sorry I didn’t go into to much detail this time… The foods going to be done in two minutes. 

You were given this life because YOU are strong enough to live it. 

Ash

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